V,
Do you remember the day,
I proposed to you?
You are surprised?! At best,
I expected a passionate hug;
At worst - fits of anger!!
But surprise?! No! I wasn’t prepared…
Yes, I was… humbled.
You just smiled... you are
Ever as beautiful!
I could see that you are
Confused. You look
Ever as lovely!
I explain you all the pros;
You seem to see all the cons!
I show you the bright
silver moon; You notice
the dark parches!
You eventually say,
“I can’t decide… I need time”.
I grant the time heartily
I sighed a relief. At least,
You didn’t retort, ‘Oh No’!
Days pass… weeks sway…
Months march… I wait for you…
You don’t seem to share
The turmoil I find myself in…
Surely, you can’t have forgotten!
There’s no embarrassment
between us. Should I feel
ill at ease? Nor were there
shy glances through
the corner of the eye.
It’s always the serene you!
You didn’t show, if there was a
Raging fire beneath your cool.
You were graceful;
In a way, I was grateful. .
If you were bewildered
beneath the façade, you
didn’t show. Even the keen me
didn’t see traces of hesitation,
In a way, I was grateful!
Today, I did remind you!
About you, me and us
I could see, I aroused
Your dormant confusion.
Your face dithers
between bliss and blues.
You seem to be impressed
by the immense pros, but again
Daunted by the tiny little cons;
May I help you, I quiver; OMG
if only I knew how!
Days of thinking seemed not to help
Van Der Vaals of the heart didn’t pull
I can’t bear it any longer, I state.
Thankfully, you declare,
“Today we will decide”.
Your face changes
from wavering to favoring. I wait
with a heart that skipped
and skipped several beats to know
if your heart beats for me!
Just when, I was ready to
Give up whatever; to be able to
Read your thoughts… you said,
‘Let’s toss’.
I wait to hear no more.
My mind echoed delightfully
Let’s toss! Let’s toss! Let’s toss!
I am flying on silver clouds,
- no dark linings, I watch below - the
Dreary deserts bloom!
I tingle with the mountain cool breeze,
Rolled over a billion bloom bed,
And showered under the summer rains,
All on a mid hot dry summer day, as
‘Let’s toss’! you said…
I was already gone, picking
Stars for your wedding ring… and
weaving the cotton clouds
For your bridal gown, as
‘Let’s toss’! you said…
Yes, ‘Let’s toss’! ourselves
into the placid sea of life
in our own little boat! or splash
Into the cold gentle river
All of You and Me, both together!
But why does my cheer not
infect you? Why do you look
so sorry, with shades of gloom?
Excuse me… did you say, toss?!!
Are you looking for coin???
I have heard that
Flights of fancy do always
Land aground! Believe me
Hardest landing this… after the
Shortest flight ever! Ask Guinness.
Do you intend to ‘toss’ our lives
With a coin to escape guilt?
It was my turn to be surprised,
Nay, shaken. Must be a joke, this.
The cruelest joke of all.
You are intent… fish out a coin.
You put on a mask of a smile –
a frozen smile. My head
spins and my heart just breaks..
Toss!?*
In a solemn voice you said with
all the strength you could muster,
“Heads – in your life I’m a part,
Tails – From your life, I depart.
“You can’t be serious”, I scream!
“Heads and tails”, I whimper,
“are for bookies”. Where
One man’s profit is another’s pain.
Not for us: We have only a
Great life to gain…
You seem unruffled and
determined. “When we
Can’t decide, we trust in God;
Heads and tails are will of Gods!
We should have faith”!
“But your Gods”, I appeal
“Could go crazy every other time.
A coin’s a cold metal that shines
Without sense and is poised
To turn tail half the time.”
You reject my grounds of appeal.
and ignore own voices of reason.
You are firm… up swings the coin..
I didn’t realize my heart race,
Skip and race again.
“If a coin falls on head or tail,
It’s because it can’t fall
Any other way. Certainly doesn’t
intend to play God”,
I cry.
I would rather that you find me
Ugly and refuse me, or an uglier
reason to decline me, while
I stood betrayed by
your resolve to ‘Toss’.
The coin landed hard and with it
My short flight of fancy.
I can see you bending down with
a prayer on your lips -
Demure and nervous..
I despair, “how could I do
With someone who thinks
With heads and tails
And not with a head and heart
That’s not given to fail?
“What would be life
With someone, who throws
both hands up to the Gods and throws
both lives up with the coins?
What would life be”!
What’s this life if
We can’t count on
Our open mind to reason and trust
Our unfailing hearts to
Love and commit.
You look up, calm as always, and
Ready to betray the will of God’s.
I fling my love n life in despair
Loath to hear, The Holy intent…
Whatever. And walk away!
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